Archive for Books
Tip #14: Read more books.
I see a lot of business owners spending a lot of money and time reinventing the wheel instead of learning from someone else who has already made the mistakes and mastered the skill.
5 reading suggestions to get you out of a business funk:
- are looking for more clients, read: Get Clients Now! by C.J. Hayden
- are wondering why you never make enough money, read: Overcoming Underearning by Barbara Stanny
- want to make more sales but don’t want to be the pushy salesman type, read: Testosterone Free Marketing by Denise Michaels
- are overwhelmed with managing your team, read: The One Minute Manager by Kenneth Blanchard & Spencer Johnson
- don’t like change, just got laid off or are feeling hopeless with the economy the way it is, read: Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson
What are your favorite business books? Please leave a comment below with the titles.
This is my original version of the book Get Clients Now from 1999. I love the cover!
Have you checked out your local library lately? Did you know many public libraries in the US now offer eBooks and eAudio books?
It is not just mommies who have big hearts, we all have big hearts. Sometimes when parents have their first baby they wonder if they could ever love anything more than they love that little bundle of joy. Then when baby number 2 comes a long they discover their heart grows and makes room to love 2 beings with the same amount of enthusiasm. You could have 10 kids and love them all. The human heart and our capability to love is amazing.
I think we don’t always realize this kind of love is not reserved just for parents loving children. It goes both ways. If you are in a blended family your child or children are capable of loving more than just 1 or 2 parents. If a stepmom has entered the scene in to your child’s life, your child is capable of opening her heart and adding another mommy, just like you are capable of opening your heart and adding another child to the mix of people you love and call family.
This idea can be very threatening and is often what makes mother’s day a challenging day for children of blended families. Kids may feel that in order to prove their love for their mommy they have to not acknowledge their stepmom. This is hurtful to the stepmom and to the child.
Unfortunately, I have learned this lesson in hindsight. My kids grew up with 3 mothers, their biological mom (my partner), me and their stepom. The kid’s love all of us, just like we love all of them. I don’t love one kid more than an other. Maybe they don’t love one mom more than the other, maybe they do. But who are we to decide who the kids love most? Is it really a competition? I’ve got news for you, there is no prize at the end of parenting for being the best mom or stepmom.
Just because you adore your 15 year old does not mean you do not adore your 4 year old. It works the same with kids and stepparents vs. parents.
After much research for my book I’m beginning to believe that the relationship between a bio (or original) mom and a stepmom may be the hardest relationship out there to navigate. The silly thing is those 2 women love and care about the same exact people.
If you come from a blended family I challenge you this mother’s day to take a step back and try to make room for your kids to express their love to whoever has been blessed enough to find a space in their little (big) hearts.
We’ve all heard of vision boards thanks to the movie The Secret. I always liked the idea of a vision board to help me get more visually focused on my goals but what I did not like was the blatant display of what I wanted in life. It made me feel a bit vulnerable. I didn’t want my family and guests in my home to give their opinions of my visions. I wanted my visions to be MY visions and was not interested in other people’s criticism or opinion of them.
What I used to do was make mini vision boards on construction paper. This worked well for me because I could tuck them away in a folder of my desk and look at them in private without the peanut gallery having a say in my “woowoo” stuff.
However, I have recently discovered something even BETTER and more FUN than my mini vision boards and they are called Vision Books! The vision book idea came from my friend Marilyn LoRusso who runs the Vision Book Art Workshops out of her home in Marin County, California. She leads us through creating vision books re-using old, hard cover novels, that we alter.
Here are two of my vision books:
Tucked inside those pages are my visions and dreams wrapped up in a pretty package. Marilyn’s workshops have been so successful she is now offering an online version of her workshops, it’s actually an 8 week vision book rainbow journey, as she calls it.
Oh and you don’t have to be “woowoo” to benefit from Marilyn’s workshops. Our local newspaper, the MarinIJ recently wrote a piece about the workshops. When I started taking the workshops I had no idea where I was going with my vision or what my vision even was. I just new I was ready for a change. A lot of wonderful things have changed in my life in the last year.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and unhappy with your life, it is time to give yourself a break and take care of yourself. Creating a vision book is one way of doing this.
Click here for information about the Online Vision Book Rainbow Journey.
I believe February is a great time to set new resolutions! The gyms are less crowded. The hustle and bustle of the holidays are over. Routines are starting to set in again.
Since I spent most of January sick with the flu, I pretty much didn’t start any of my resolutions or new year plans.
Let’s review, I wrote this blog post Time For A Change at the end of December with my BIG plans for 2013.
Here were my plans:
- No more commuting to San Francisco day in and day out √ Oh hey! I can check this one off the list! 2/1/13 is my last official day working in San Francisco.
- Finish my book (committed to writing for 30 minutes a day for the next 30 days) I haven’t exactly been writing 30 minutes a day for the last 30 days but I have been writing and I did complete 1 more interview! And I created a brand new blog dedicated to this book!
- Post more on this blog √ 3 new blog posts and 1 new blog – not bad!
- Join CrossFit √ I did join Crossfit! I made it to 1 Intro session and 1 whole beginner session and then got the flu… this is the one resolution I will definitely pick back up in February. From my little introduction to CrossFit, I already LOVE it!
- Make the rest of my life the best of my life! √ Yes! So far, despite the flu 2013 has been a great year!
I am happy I reviewed my plan. I actually did accomplish a lot! This gives me hope. Here’s to a fun February to you all!
What are your February resolutions?
*Check mark image from http://icons.mysitemyway.com
Are you an other mother?
If so, I want to hear your story!
I’m currently in the process of writing a book about other mothers. Title is still yet to be determined but the subject is other mothers. Wondering what an other mother is? Read my past blog post here.
I am learning there are all sorts of women who feel like other mothers.
I am interested in hearing and writing about your stories. Your story can be kept completely confidential or I can give you credit, whatever you are most comfortable with.
If you have a story to share or know someone who does please send them my way.
Here are some suggestions of other mothers I’m interested in interviewing but I’m also open to ones I may not have mentioned below:
- chose not to have children
- were not able to have children
- were surrogate moms
- had abortions or miscarriages
- adopted children
- fostered children
- were/are teen moms
- are moms of teen moms
- divorced moms
- single moms
- lesbian/bi moms
- immigrant moms
- are disabled moms
- are moms of disabled children
- have children with mental illness
- seem like typical moms but don’t feel like they fit in
- are aunts, grandmas & others raising children who are not their own
- are in the military
- have husbands in the military or prison
- feel too young, old, poor, fat, ugly, etc
- are other mothers
- YOU – I want to hear your story
Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to share your story or share your story with all of us in a comment below.
I have been spending a lot of time researching parenting for my book about other mothers. No matter what your parenting status is (married, single, straight, gay, adopted, foster, divorced, step, whatever…) there is one common theme: parenting teenagers is not easy.
I know when my kids were teeny bopper and pre-teen I thought all those other parents complaining about teenagers were just negative people who didn’t understand teens or maybe parents who spoiled their kids too much. I was sure our kids would be different. We had cool kids that were fun to be around and we were cool parents. I kept telling myself just because everyone else thinks teenagers are evil, challenging or horrible does not mean our teenagers will be like that, we have unique kids.
Well, one day reality hit. Almost over night the 3 kids turned in to teenagers. They went from being carefree fun loving teeny boppers to TEENAGERS. Their eyes started rolling at whatever we said, wore or did. They knew everything, we knew nothing. The bedroom doors started shutting the moment they walked in the door from school. Going out to dinner with us or to the movies was no longer fun. You get the idea. Teenagers are teenagers it’s how we react to them that matters. The way I reacted was to get my feelings hurt when hearing things like “um you are not actually going to wear that out in public are you?”. I went from being cool mom to clumsy dork overnight. Parenting teenagers can make you feel like you are in middle school all over again. Parenting teenagers pretty much forced me to grow up and grow some thick skin.
During some of the more challenging parental years I used to think to myself, “what happened? I thought I was the kid, these darn kids are forcing me to be the adult”. This party girl from high school suddenly found herself realizing friends of kids 7-11 Big Gulp cups were actually filled with Vodka and not soda. (Hint: parents if your teens have a bunch of friends over who seem to be innocently drinking soda or water, ask for a sip. Be prepared to choke on straight up Vodka.) And when finding Vodka having to poor it out (or make your partner do it), lecture the kids (ie. totally lose it) and become known as the un-cool parent.
Let’s just say it was not easy raising teenagers. Fortunately, I have made it to the other side. The youngest is almost 19 and getting ready to head off to college. The older 2 are already in college. Dare I say I enjoy their company now?
I read a lot of books on raising teenagers. The best advice I can give you if you are about to embark on this journey or are in the middle of it is to take it one day at a time and remember to breathe. You may want to consider praying too if that is not something you do regularly because teaching a kid how to drive is one of THE scariest things I ever did in my life! Parenting teenagers is a very humbling experience.
In the picture above are some of the books I read during the teen years. I’d like to share these books with you. If you’d like one please leave a comment below with the title and send me your mailing address with the title of the book. If you are in the US I will ship it to you at no charge. First come, first serve.
Books up for grabs:
- Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
- Teen Owner’s Manual
- Field Guide to The American Teenager
- Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers
The only thing I ask for in return is a LIKE on Facebook.
Mother’s Day is coming up. This is a tough one for me. Not as a daughter but as a mother. It is a day that I am reminded of how society often disregards the other mothers of the world. I am one of those other mothers.
The number 1 question every woman is asked is, “Do you have children?” You might think this is a simple yes or no answer; it is not. Many women “have” children but did not actually “have” them. It is a complicated question to answer. Some women struggle with how much of an answer to give, I know I did.
I raised 3 children. I changed their diapers, wiped their snotty noses, made their lunches, consoled their hurt feelings, drove the carpool, gave up my own dream of going to graduate school, stayed home from work with sick kids, lost my hair during their teenage years and many nights of sleep. I laughed, cried, enjoyed, loved and hated parenting. But, when someone asks me if I have children and I say yes, I feel like I am not telling the whole truth. I do have children, I have 3 but I did not birth these children, my partner did and we have raised them together with her ex-husband and his wife. If I tell people the whole story their response is often “oh, you are not the real mom.” Being labeled “not the real mom” made it so I was not allowed to ever complain about parenting or my kids because if I did other mothers would say, “it’s different when it is your kid, or you wouldn’t understand since they are not actually your kids”.
These comments from others often shut me down, hurt me and made me wonder if it was okay to say yes I have kids. These comments also isolated me from the “Mom’s club” I wanted and needed so badly to be in. The Mom’s club is any group of moms that becomes friends because of their kids, moms at the park, moms who have kids in the same class, etc. They hang out together while their kids are doing activities and provide support to each other, share their trials and tribulations of raising kids and learn from each other. I felt so alone as a mother. I felt ashamed wondering what the other mothers thought of me. I was young, I was a lesbian and I was the cause for my partner’s (the real mother) divorce. Looking back now that my kids are young adults I realize those worries of what the other mothers thought of me were all created in my own head. I never even gave a chance to those other mothers to get to know me. The few that I did allow in throughout the parenting years are some of my best friends now.
I wish I wouldn’t have wasted so much of my mommy years wondering if I was good enough and realized that the fact that I was raising someone else’s kids was BETTER than good enough. I was sacrificing and doing things for those little snotty nosed people that usually only a “real” mother would do. I should NOT have been ashamed, I should have been celebrated. But a mother’s job doesn’t usually come with a lot of praise, I understand this.
The more I have talked with women, the more I have learned that this feeling like an ”other mother” is a common feeling. Even the traditional type of mom often feels like she doesn’t fit in; she’s too young, too old, too fat, too poor, not cool enough, works, doesn’t work, whatever it is, she feels she doesn’t fit in and she isolates herself from the other mothers.
Being in my position, the other mom, not the “REAL” mom and not even the step-mom pretty much makes me the invisible mom when it comes to acknowledgement from society and community support.
I have an idea for a book I want to write about other mothers. I want to interview all the other mothers out there and share their stories. I imagine there are all sorts of women who could identify with being an other mother: lesbian moms, step-moms, adoptive moms, foster moms, divorced moms, single moms, teen moms, immigrant moms, aunts, grandmas and other relatives raising children that are not their own, moms whose husbands are in prison or the military, women who chose not to be moms or were not able to be and fathers who have taken on the more traditional mommy role are all people whom I’d like to interview and hear their stories. I’m sure there other ‘other mother’s who I have failed to mention here as well. I’ve been tossing this book idea around in my head for a while but now I’ve decided I am going to do it. If you are interested in sharing your story with me and being a part of this book please contact me to arrange for an interview.
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Hi, My name is Sally. If you are here from the Ultimate Blog Party – Welcome!
I’m not new to blogging but I am new to the blog party. I heard about the party from Heather at Desperately Seeking Sanity who happens to having a great giveaway on her blog today!
I live in the San Francisco Bay Area.
I have 3 teenagers that keep me on my toes. Actually, one of them has recently started her own blog. I’m very proud of my little blogger.
Welcome to my blog!
You can also find me on Twitter @SallyK
Guess what? I have a giveaway! I’m going to giveaway the book The Sum of Our Days, by Isabel Allende. I will ask Heather to do a random drawing of all the comments on this post that mention the blog party! The drawing will end on the 27th.
Have a great weekend!
PS. Find me on Facebook at the Virtual Simplicity fan page.
PPS. I think I was supposed to list what I’d like to win at the UBP09. I’ve got my eye on the Target gift card.
Seems Jaime Lee Mann and I woke up with the same feeling today… the feeling of being overwhelmed by the amount of emails in our in box.
Before turning on the computer today I pulled out the book Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen to re-read. It’s a great system that I usually follow. Somewhere along the line I dropped the ball and things started piling up. Maybe it was when I was sick in December, maybe it was my vacation in January, maybe it was I’ve been so super busy I forgot to take my own advice and plan my day. Whatever it was… my email in box and my actual in box on my desk were overflowing.
After turning my computer on today, the first thing I did was open my in box and blast through it. Just like Jaime, I sorted by who the emails were from and was able to quickly get through them. For the most part everything that was left in my in box was something that could have been taken care of in 2 minutes or less.
The 2-Minute Rule is one of my favorite GTD tips from David Allen. If you can do it in less than 2 minutes then just do it! Considering I had let 68 emails pile up in my in box (the kind that would have taken 2 minutes or less to deal with) I just doubled or tripled my time spent on emails because I read them when they originally arrived, decided to deal with them later, occasionally scanned them over the last few weeks, then re-read them today and finally dealt with them. Instead of the 2 minutes that I could have taken as the original emails arrived I probably spent over 3 hours dealing with those 68 emails instead of 1 hour or less if I would have just dealt with them when they arrived.
How do you manage your emails?
Like Nike says, “Just Do It!” (Like David Allen says – Do it, Delete it or Delegate it).