Friendship Appreciation Day
By · CommentsToday’s photo is in memory of Gary Gieseke, 11.22.87
This post was originally written on 11.22.06
This morning, while making my coffee I started flipping through my organizer to review my notes for the presentation I am giving next week. The first thing I saw though was today’s date and that hit me like a brick and a wave of emotions poured over me. Nineteen years ago today my friend Gary Gieseke took his own life. Losing Gary and being forced to deal with death and suicide at such a young age had a profound impact on my life. It inspired me to go to college and major in Psychology… I dealt with the grief and guilt through academics… somehow I managed to write every single paper in college about suicide, death and the survivors… more than once my professors pulled me aside to make sure I wasn’t suicidal. I was driven to do something about teen suicide and I did, I worked in a youth shelter for awhile with runaway youth, I volunteered on a suicide hotline and then yes life got in the way and took me in a different direction.
However, I did learn a few lessons; I learned not to take people or life for granted because they may not be there tomorrow. Every single time I am in a fight with someone the memory of Gary pops back into my head and I think “what if they die tonight? will I regret this stupid argument?” and then I try to fix it. In honor of Gary I have designated this day to appreciate all of my friends. November 22nd is my unofficial Friendship Appreciation Day.
I love you all! Thank you for being my friend!
Gary Gieseke
11.22.87
Suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-TALK
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
www.thetrevorproject.org
It was this song Somebody by Depeche Mode that set me off down this nostalgic path.
The last note I ever got from Gary was the lyrics to this song.
Mill Valley Mobile Vet
By · CommentsThis is my dog Poncho and his new Vet Dr. Cynthia Steele, whom we both love.
He’s getting old.
He has lumps and bumps and not as much energy as he used to have. Recently he has developed a strange problem with his eye. I hadn’t been happy with my current vet and I needed to find a new one. I was not looking forward to taking my 11 year old dog to a new Veterinarian office. I was afraid they were going to over prescribe treatment for him. Also, Poncho is not a big fan of going to the vet, he gets very stressed & doesn’t like to sit still. It usually takes 2 or 3 of us to hold him in place for an exam.
Someone suggested we try a mobile vet. I had no idea mobile vets existed. A mobile vet is a doctor who does house calls. They come to your house to examine your dog. Way less stressful for you and your dog.
I wasn’t sure what to expect from the mobile vet I called but what I got was an awesome vet! Cynthia and Maureen (nurse) showed up at my door and greeted me with a hug. Poncho instantly loved them. He thought friends came to visit just him. They spent a whole hour examining Poncho and talking with us about his health. The cost of the visit was only slightly more than a trip to the vet but the quality and care was 100 times better.
If you have an older dog or would rather have your vet come to your house instead of sitting in a stressful waiting room with a bunch of other sick pets I highly recommend calling Mill Valley Mobile Vet. Since she is mobile you don’t have to live in Mill Valley to use her services. She goes all over Marin and I think even to the city sometimes.
www.MVmobileVet.com
Cynthia Steele, D.V.M.
415-272-8558
Vocabulary Lesson for Men
By · Comments11/21/11 – Update
I’m updating this post to tell you this letter should have been addressed to Men & Women! I’ve had many people tell me they’ve also heard women use the word rape to describe things that are not rape. Men please accept my apology for generalizing & women, What is up with that?!
—–
Dear Men (and Women),
Please do not use the word rape to describe anything other than a rape. When you use the word rape to describe being ripped off or taken advantage of it makes me think you do not comprehend just how serious a rape is. A rape is not being ripped off at the gas station. It is not paying too much in taxes and it is not what a used car salesman does when selling you a car. A rape is a horrible, atrocious offense against another human being. When you use it to describe these minor offenses it makes me think you don’t realize how terrible a rape is which makes me wonder if that is the reason rape is so prevalent in our society.
Thank you,
The women in your life
It’s a Small World
By · CommentsI had to go all the way to LA to meet a super cool woman from Marin.
MoreMarin
This last weekend I was down in LA with Celia who was presenting at AEA (American Evaluation Association). Celia put together a rock star team for the presentation & I was lucky enough to be included in the after conference dinner. I got to sit next to the fabulous Felecia Gaston (from Performing Stars of Marin AND The Phoenix Project) who told me about an event she was organizing for Veterens Day in Marin City.
Performing Stars of Marin’s Annual
Veterans Day Parade
11-11-11
Honoring the Bay Area Tuskegee Airmen
Parade starts at 11am at the Manzanita Recreation Center.
630 Drake Avenue
Marin City, CA
Going to Level with You
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I have been seeing this image circulating around the social networks and it has really stuck with me. I’ve always been a supporter of local, independent businesses but when things get busy and life gets stressful sometimes it’s easier to just go to the nearest Starbucks instead of seeking out an independent, locally owned cafe.
Working in downtown San Francisco you can spin in circles, walk any direction and in less than a block you will most likely find a Starbucks.
I wanted something different. I wanted to get my coffee at an independently owned place but I didn’t know where to go. Until… I opened my eyes and realized there is an Italian style cafe located near my office called Palio Paninoteca. Actually I didn’t open my eyes and look around, I looked down at my iPhone where I was trying out a new program called LevelUp. It’s a program that lets you pay with your smart phone. I’ve been wanting to try one of those programs for awhile and for some reason this one called my attention enough for me to download the app and try it.
While searching the current locations accepting LevelUp I discovered this cafe just down the street. When I signed up for LevelUp I got $5 credit and noticed Palio Paninoteca offered $2 credit so I decided to head over to Palio Paninoteca to check it out and enjoy my complimentary lunch. I didn’t realize they served lunch in addition to coffee and gelato. Yes I said gelato!
Palio Paninoteca’s lunch consists of soups, salads and sandwiches (paninis) prepared in advance (kind of like going to the counter at Whole Foods). So far I’ve tried 2 of their salads and they are delicious! Today I had the spinach, avocado, mango salad. Yum!
While trying out my LevelUp for the first time I happened to meet the owner of the cafe. She showed me how to pay with my phone. We got to chatting and that is when I learned that Palio Paninoteca is an independent, local, woman owned business. They’re also green and serve your food in reusable ceramic dishes. Bettie Scodel is a single mom and the owner of both Palio Paninotecas. She’s also a very hard worker. She gets up at 3:30am every day to be ready to serve breakfast to the hungry masses passing through. She proudly told me of her two children in college. She’s the perfect candidate to help me keep up with my Miss Representation pledge of featuring women doing cool things around the Bay Area.
Two thumbs up to Palio Paninoteca and to LevelUp. I had a great experience with both. I’m looking forward to enjoying many more coffee and meals using my LevelUp at Palio Paninoteca.
If you find yourself in downtown San Francisco around breakfast or lunch time give this place a try.
Oh, one more thing! I emailed LevelUp yesterday to see when there were going to be more locations in San Francisco and they said they are adding more everyday! I also told them I would be mentioning them in my blog and they offered my readers a special code! If you want to try LevelUp (it doesn’t cost anything) they will put $10 credit in to your account if you use the code SALLY when registering. When registering be sure to click on the blue link that says: Have a promotion or friend referral code? to get your $10 credit! So go sign up for then let me know and maybe we can meet for a coffee at Palio Paninoteca. 
Palio Paninoteca is located on the corner of Montgomery and Clay St in the financial district of San Francisco. They also have a location near UCSF. More info here: www.paliopaninoteca.com
Hey Girlfriend – Interview with Shasta Nelson
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A few weeks ago, thanks to Twitter, A Band of Wives and a hamburger joint, I met an amazing woman named Shasta Nelson.
Shasta Nelson, MDiv (@girlfrndcircles) is a relationship strategist, life coach, and founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a womens friendship matching site in 35 cities across the U.S. She blogs weekly at Shasta’s Friendship Blog and for the Huffington Post.
In an effort to keep up with my Miss Representation pledge I’m going to be featuring local Bay Area women doing cool things. I’m starting with Shasta Nelson who agreed to be interviewed and share her favorite things to do around the Bay Area.
Please tell us a little bit about Girl Friend Circles. What exactly is it? Who is it for? GirlFriendCircles.com is a womens friendship matching site. We match women up in small groups in local cafes and wine bars to meet other women their age (from 21-65) who are interested in investing in new friendships. Often it’s because we’ve just moved or gone through some other major life change, but research shows every 7 years the average woman replaces half her friends so it’s a pretty normal need. We’re in 35 cities across the U.S. including Marin, San Francisco, and the East Bay!
What do you love most about the Bay Area?
The culture. It’s hard to describe but I love the open-mindedness, the diversity, and the overall sense of support that there is for all kinds of people, ideas, and ways of life.
Where is your favorite place to hike/bike?
Living in the City, I love heading to Lands End (there is the most beautiful labyrinth on the edge of the cliff!), walking along Crissy Field, and city hiking up all the hills on long evening walks!
Favorite place to eat? Best romantic date restaurant?
I love Saha’s (Arabic Fusion) for a special dinner out, Helmand’s Palace (Afghan) for their vegetarian special plate, B Star (Burmese Fusion) for their drinks and fun flavors, and Top of the Mark for romantic views and martinis.
Favorite place to meet up with girl friends for coffee/tea/Happy Hour?
I’d love any cafe that had my friends– I’m not picky at all! We sometimes meet at Cafe Divine in North Beach for their indoor/outdoor seating and easy menu, but our favorite places are just hanging out in each other’s living rooms. Being in a home feels more special than a restaurant these days!
If you had an out of town guest visiting for a day who wanted to see the Bay Area what would you show them?
I tend to think the most special experience of San Francisco is a day spent as much like a local as possible: breakfast at a neighborhood cafe, long walk along the water toward the bridge, lunch in some awesome ethnic restaurant, then cater to their need for tourism by seeing how many landmarks we can take their picture in front of (sea lions at the Pier, the Painted Sisters homes, Ferry Building), drive through Golden Gate Park on our way to watch the sunset at the beach and then end with an evening at Yoshi’s Jazz Club.
You can get to know Shasta a little better by visiting her YouTube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/user/ShasGFC
Girl Friend Circles is also on Facebook.
Clearly Fresh Veggies
By · CommentsOne of my pet peeves is throwing away rotten fruit and vegetables. I’m really hard on myself when this happens. Think about it, if you spend $2 on an avocado, forget to eat it, and end up throwing it out that is the same as throwing $2 in the garbage. Would you throw a $2 bill in the garbage? I don’t think so!
I’m not usually one to write reviews but this product caught my eye because of what I wrote in the paragraph above (and I’m a sucker for free stuff). Actually I don’t like just any old SWAG (Stuff We All Get), I only like the stuff I would actually use. Since I love to cook and I love fresh vegetables (and detest rotten ones) I decided to give Clearly Fresh Bags a try. Also the company is located right here in California and I like to support local businesses.
Disclaimer: I did not do any formal testing but I did throw all my veggies is the bags.
As usual, my life got busy, I went out to eat more than I should and forgot about my fresh veggies from the Farmers Market. However, what I did notice when life slowed down for a minute and I had time to cook my veggies that were 2 weeks old, was they were still crisp and fresh! So, in my unscientific conclusion the bags work to keep veggies fresh longer than the regular bags you get at the grocery store. They are also easy to re-use. The only improvement of these bags that I suggest is the zip seal – I struggled with it a bit. I was not able to fully close the bags without a lot of concentration and effort but that could just be me…
Here are my now 3 week old carrots, still crisp.
If you’d like to learn more about Clearly Fresh Bags check out their site here: www.clearlyfreshbags.com
Social Media Overwhelm
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I don’t know about you but I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed with life. In particular I’m feeling overwhelmed with social media. Ever since Google+ arrived on the scene… I have felt pulled in 3 directions. Then Facebook started messing with our privacy to the point where even I’m feeling a bit invaded, and I am not a very private person. I’m barely able to keep up with my @ messages on Twitter which means half the time I miss reading my friends tweets. My DM (direct message) column is filled with unwanted promotional and spammy messages and I sometimes miss real DMs. I even forgot to check my personal email sometimes.
Earlier today I announced on Twitter that I was doing a little Twitter experiment. Well that experiment is that I’m totally going to copy Chris Brogan and do a Great Twitter UnFollow. I’m in the process of unfollowing most of the 5000 people/businesses that I’m currently following and am just keep the handful that I actually interact with.
I used to believe it was rude to not follow back everyone who follows you but that was 2 years ago. I’m now starting to think it is rude to follow everyone who follows you. If you follow everyone it drowns out the people who are most important to you. So, I’m trying this little experiment. Please don’t take it personally if I have unfollowed you. If you start a conversation with me using an @ I’ll most likely follow you back because I’ll know you are a real person interested in real conversations. Many people are on the lists I’ve created so technically I am still following them, but only when I look at my lists.
I know for me personally when I find out someone has unfollowed me it stings a little. Then I remember we’re all busy and everyone needs to make decisions on what information they’re going to allow in to their overcrowded information garden.
Already I’m seeing interesting tweets from people I’d been missing. I look forward to discovering and rediscovering new tweeps now that I can actually see what is going on in my Twitter stream. I’m changing my Tweet stream from the autobahn in Germany to Highway 1 in Marin, making it a little slower and easier to handle.
*disclaimer: I sort of went on an unfollow rampage today so I may have unintentionally unfollowed someone I meant to be following. I’ve already unfollowed about 2000 people, I will continue my great unfollow over the next week. I’ll let you know in a few weeks if this crazy idea has reduced the feeling of overwhelm or caused more stress.
Watch out Facebook you’re next!
Money Honey
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Last week I gathered a group of tweeps together to watch the film Miss Representation. It was a fund raiser for Huckleberry Youth Programs at the Rafael Film Center.
Besides having a very creative name, Miss Representation was a reminder that not much has changed for women in the media (and in general) over the last 20+ years. Miss Representation is about women being misrepresented in the media -> Miss Representation get it? Catchy title.
Twenty plus years ago Thelma & Louise and The Accused came out. I was in college at the time and I was angry about the way women were treated but I was happy to see films addressing the issue.
What got to me in Miss Representation were the statistics: The number of women unhappy with their bodies. The number of women with eating disorders. The number of women who have been raped.
I’m all for focusing on the positive and for individuals being responsible for themselves but I also believe somethings are bigger than the individual and we need to talk about this issue and problem solve it together. However, a pet peeve of mine is people who preach to the choir but never actually do anything, they just talk, complain, blame and finger point. So I’m not going to do that.
Working in the Financial District of San Francisco I often walk by the TV screens with CNBC on. Did you know that people refer to the female reporters on CNBC as the Money Honeys?
I don’t know what the answer is because blaming men is not going to change anything, we already tried that and men are a product of this society just as much as women are. Blaming individual women isn’t going to work either because if a female news reporter or actress is asked to use a little botox here, show some cleavage there or lose some weigh,t she’s probably going to do it to keep her job. Unless she is Rachel Maddow.
One thing we can do is show our support by paying to see movies: written, directed or produced by strong women, support women in politics, female bloggers, news reporters and companies who advertise with these outlets. In this society money talks faster than anything else!
If we focus on the positive and put more of our dollars in to the positive the media will follow the money and the ratings.
I say instead of boycotting the negative and drawing more attention to it, IGNORE the negative media. Focus on the positive media, spend money on the positive media and shout it out to the world about all the films, shows, reporters, bloggers, artists, musicians, writers and politicians who are doing great things and being positive role models.
I’d love to start a list of all the great media women (and men) are already doing to bring more balance and happiness to the world. Please list your favorites in the comments below. Also if you saw the movie I’d love to hear your thoughts.
“Energy flows where attention goes.”
Newest Miss Representation Trailer (2011 Sundance Film Festival Official Selection) from Miss Representation on Vimeo.
Follow the film on Twitter. @RepresentPledge
PS. After the film a group of us pledged to blog our thoughts about the film. I will link to their blog posts below as they are published.
when de ja vu draws the same blank by @Alembic
Twitterless Tuesdays
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This post is intended for active Twitter users. The rest of you can go back to what you were doing.
Twitterless Tuesdays – inspired by @TamHolland, @C8nHogarth and the rest of my Twitter BFF’s.
Ms. @TamHolland arrived on the Twitter scene fairly recently and took it by storm. She has also inspired many of us in many ways. One of those ways is to take some time off of Twitter (and screens in general). She wrote this great post back in January called: Here’s How We Roll: 1979 Saturdays and she actually walks away from her screens every Saturday and does things off the computer (imagine that). She recently added in taking a Twitter break on Tuesdays.
Today a group of us were talking about taking some Twitter breaks. We started out talking about taking 15 minutes of conscious Twitter breaks and came to a group consensus (except for @fun_master who is trying to create an extra day in the week so she can have more days to tweet) to take Tuesday’s off of Twitter. We also agreed to take this one week at a time.
So what do you say? Do you want to participate in Twitterless Tuesdays with us? Just imagine all the things you could be doing if you were not tweeting. Here is a list I compiled:
- Spend time with your dog/cat/pet – take them for a walk, pet them, play ball with them. Imagine totally focused pet loving time with no screen distractions.
- Spend time with your kids/spouse/friend/partner – be fully present with them, listen to them, enjoy them IRL.
- Read – read a book, newspaper or a magazine – possibly find inspiration!
- Cook – pull out an old cookbook, cook something new, take the time to try a new recipe.
- Walk/Hike – go for a walk, appreciate your surroundings (instead of staring down at your phone).
- Clean/Organize – clean your house, organize your desk, wash your car, purge! Purging stuff always makes me happy.
- Meditate/Pray/Relax – quiet time does us all some good.
- Tune in to your creativity – write, make art, take photographs
- Work – fully focus on the work that needs to be done.
- Pick up the phone – call a friend or family member who is not on social media – just to say hi.
- Write a letter/Send a card – a real life paper and pen kind of letter and mail it. You’ll most likely put a smile on someone’s face.
- Garden – plant some flowers, pull some weeds, enjoy nature.
Celia would want me to add one more: Go for a bike ride!
What are you going to do with your extra focused time?
Happy #TwitterlessTuesday!
If you are joining us let us know by posting the hashtag #TwitterlessTuesday on Monday evenings when you sign off.
What will you be doing with your extra time?
I’d love to hear how your Twitterless Tuesday goes. Please leave a comment and let me know!
Tweet! Tweet? Where’d everybody go?
Maybe my next blog post will be Facebookless Fridays…
