Fearfully Scrolling

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“Opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes.” – Voltaire

image of tweet from Anthony Lawlor "Opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes." - Voltair

As this quote passed by my Twitter screen it popped out at me.

I definitely felt that opinion trouble this week.

A friend stated their opinion on Facebook this week and I was amazed at how much I let someone else’s opinion get to me. One tiny little Facebook post (in the sea of 55 million status updates a day) knocked me off my rocker for much of the day.

I got triggered. My doctor doesn’t like the word triggered and I am not sure why. (Note to self: ask her why.) Maybe because if you say you got triggered you are giving yourself permission to act in ways out of your control…

So I read the Facebook post and my heart started racing.

I read the comments and I got short of breath.

I felt mad, disappointed, sad and unseen all at the same time. So I pounded out a response and within seconds got responses and reactions from others. By this time my heart was racing even faster. I was trembling a little and tears were streaming down my face.

Back to the little quote that floated across my Twitter stream this morning. We are literally living through a plague and I let someone else’s opinion effect me in ways this plague has not. Wow!

I had choices and I did not exercise them.

First choice I had was not to even open Facebook during my break. Instead, I could have sat in my garden and watched the birds, read a book, taken a walk, meditated, watched a video, basically done ANYTHING else. But no, I made the choice to mindlessly check Facebook for probably the 23rd time that day.

backyard blue jay

Next, I could have kept scrolling when I saw the subject of the post, a subject I already know upsets me. But no, I read it, I clicked on the article and read the article, then I read the comments (note to self: never read the comments) and responded to them. I fell down the rabbit hole BIG time!

I preach love. I practice trying to be open minded and open hearted to better understand others, even those who think and believe very differently than me. I say “More Love Less Fear” but then this happens… I let FEAR slip in and takeover without acknowledging it. Fear happens. It is real but if we do not acknowledge the feeling it TAKES OVER our rational thought, our compassion and our love. It makes us egocentric and screams look at me, think like me, I know I am right, this is the only possible outcome, I can’t even hear what you are saying it makes me feel more fear.

If I would have been more centered and grounded before seeing that post I may have been able to see it differently. For instance, maybe the person who posted it was feeling fear right now and they are hoping that by sharing their opinion it will change others opinions and what they fear won’t turn into a reality.

For now, I will pull back from social media use and give myself time to heal. When things like this happen I am aware I need a break.

My hope is that next time I am mindlessly scrolling through my feeds and I feel my heart start to race instead of getting triggered (sorry doctor) and losing control of my emotions, I use my heart racing as a signal to walk away from my screen, breathe, allow myself to feel the fear, acknowledge the fear and let it pass instead of letting it take control of me.

More Love Less Fear!

image says more love less fear

One thought on “Fearfully Scrolling

  1. Laurel

    I love this post! You remind all of us how others words can “trigger” us. It sucks sometimes how much we allow and how our reactions are hard to manage. Instead we should take a moment to process and respond in a timely and patient manner. I appreciate your teachable moments. We are all humans. Love you! 💜

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