I am learning to live with my feelings. I am learning to stop and acknowledge that I am having a feeling rather than quickly trying to distract myself. My usual pattern is to distract myself with social media, texting, or having a drink. This is not easy. I often catch myself defaulting to my usual behavior.
Going through this process of attempting to lose weight is helping me to be more aware of my own emotions. When I go to reach for an alcoholic drink or mindlessly pick up my phone, I now stop and say to myself, “Wait! What are you trying to distract yourself from? What feeling are you trying to avoid?”
Often the answer comes right away and I think hmmm so this is what loneliness feels like, this is what grief is, this is anger, sadness, guilt, disappointment or frustration. Then I observe those feelings with curiosity and compassion. More often than not, taking that moment and feeling those feelings redirects me to make a healthier choice for myself. I’ll get through he alcohol craving and pour myself a glass of sparkly water or create some random but beautiful spa-like glass of water made with lemons and basil or maybe strawberries and take a moment to appreciate the beauty of that glass of water.
I am not saying this is easy. It is not. It takes a LOT of effort to be conscious and present with myself. It is so much easier to pour a drink or grab my phone and start scrolling, or do both at the same time.
One day at a time. One pound released at a time. As of this morning, I am down three pounds since I started WW exactly three weeks ago. This healing process takes patience. For me, it helps to act like a curious detective and observe how my brain defaults into predictable patterns.